Dealing with the No

Disclaimer: This post and title is not designed to irritate people. The intent is to help you dialogue at crucial moments especially when you hear 'No'. Those situations when you are exploring options and want to be heard.

Sample Situations :

a. You are at an interview. You have submitted your profile and the discussion is on. Questions are being fired - left, right and centre. You have satisfactory answers but feel you are hitting a wall. The interviewer tells you - Sorry, your current skill sets don't match our erequirements at the moment. We will get back to you. Thanks for being here.

b. You are selling a product/service. You are convinced this is the best product & pricing that you can provide. Your customer isn't buying it. He says -'No - I dont need this for now'.

c. You are on a heated debate with your family/spouse. You want to do that holiday trip to Kerala and you have had to deal with constant delays and denials. You are tired trying but would love this vacation. Your significant other says No =(

How do we deal with these, keep the conversation going and leverage on the opportunity?

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Here comes a technique that has worked for me... itz called the snowballing technique.

Think about a snowball. When it starts rolling from a hill it may just be a small piece of ice. As it falls, it gathers ice and the mass increases. The more it rolls - it keeps gathering mass.

The next time somebody says No. Don't take it personally. Use the opportunity and ask a question.

That's it! Ask a question. The 'No' - doesn't have to end the conversation the way it did. It could probably start a new one with your question.

Here are some examples:

a. At an Interview, You are told 'No' due to a skill-set mismatch. What question can you ask?

Try this: Can you refer me to someone, who would need my services?

b. Selling a product : They don't like what's on offer or your price.

Try this: Thank them for their time. Leave!

But, before you do ask them 'If we had an opportunity to win you as our customer, what would we have to do?'

|You may get super cool feedback!!|

c. You are told that your performance is sub-standard.

Try this: Ask the person to help you with examples of things you could immediately change that could positively impact your performance.

Moral of the story. Don't give up. Try questions to help you navigate. Before you know it... you have a snowball and a window of opportunity. So Keep the conversation on!

PS. Search your heart while you raise the question. Ahhmmnn... Intent matters. =)

TCS TTT @ Periyar University, Salem

Hi Everyone,

I was at Periyar University, Salem last week for an ILP Train-the-Trainer program. It was an excellent time - loads of opportunities to observe, share and self-reflect. TCS BPS has had an excellent relationship with the University.

This time, to improve the readiness & reduce time to deployment of our new hires from colleges, ILP will be conducted at the campuses by select TCS certified professors/placement officers/faculty. This task took me to Salem in the second week of December to interview 38 professors. 21 were shortlisted for the TTT program and 16 attended the three-day Train the Trainer session.

The sessions focused on Leadership, Interpersonal communication, Mindfulness, Developmental Feedback & Value Messaging through small group discussions, theater, video-based feedback, opportunities to facilitate and also create content.

TTT pics

If you cant get out of it, get into it

I was on a break from blogging here. Wasn't intentional, but just that I have been writing a lot more on our TCS portal.

(FYI: TCS today has about 3 lakh employees and one of the ways we keep connected to the large family is through a social networking portal called - Knome. This is a micro-blogging/blogging website with various communities & interest groups).

My role at TCS is to manage the L&D function for over 3K associates in the Banking domains, Chennai. The last year and half was spent in rejuvenating the function & making the L&D presence felt & Thank God we have been successful.

Lately, my thoughts have been focused at reviewing the way I process work & to see where I could do better. There are times when work seems more like firefighting. But, I desire & want to see a glorious future.

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A blurred vision is like shooting in the air - You fired your best shot but it hit nowhere.

And thus came vision FY15 - really simple yet profound statements to ensure my team & I focus on the Big picture.

Zig Ziglar says : You can not make it as a wandering generality, you must be a meaningful specific!

And the more my mind has asked me to pause/stop... I see myself getting into it deeper.

I finished my first TTL partnership call last week and in God I am so excited for what is to come. The future is exciting when God is in it!

The next few days & months I look forward to getting into this Vision more deeper than ever.

The prayers that sustain us

The biggest blessing for any successful family are the people who pray in it.

I am blessed to be part of a praying family. Prayers of my parents and siblings have sustained me. Their passion and commitment to prayer bring hope.

Prayers have brought us together, kept us together. 

Motivation (...when I badly needed it)

My journey to TCS is amazing. But better more is the journey in TCS.

The hours that go in each day is about 10-12 hours (in rare cases like yesterday it went 15 hours). But the beauty of the experience is I can sit back and say it is worth every bit.

Like yesterday, I had two amazing experiences.

First: I had an awesome time with our TEG (Talent Engagement Group)team at Spencers yesterday. All the TEG folks who entered my room (7th Floor HR Room) were welcome to two small activities yesterday. 

One - a game of Jenga and the other a rope (ribbon) activity.

If you haven't played Jenga - You Should.

What happened there is amazing. I heard laughter (high tones) like I have never heard before. Lot of engagement in the fun + learning activities. Lighter moments in the room and of course a pinch of dopamine (a neurotransmitter released in the brain when people are motivated or have a pat on the back).

Later in the night, I was in an Idea Factory session for my people from 7:30 - 11:30. Was amazing people connect and learner engagement. I left work at around 1:30am. Exhausted, drained and wanting sleep.

Wake up in the morning and here is a mail from one of my participants from yesterday:

'Thank you for this excellent session . I have never seen this type of session before. I really enjoyed this session and this was truly amazing. I  will  try to attend atleast 2 to 3 session of yours in the upcoming months.

I have never seen persons like you. First i thought attending this session was waste of time and once I attended, i realized the uses of this session. I will complete the WBT which you have mentioned below. Once again thank you so much for this superb session.'

I got my dose of dopamine for the morning!

Why the mix?

A soloist with a guitar shares the stage with a pianist, bassist and a drummer. The strumming of his guitar keeps his vocals in sync with the rhythm.

The other musicians know what to play and are extremely talented. Yet they don't overplay. The beauty of the song lies in the power of restraint.

Time and again when I see some awesome musicians/bands I tell myself that the beauty of the song lies in playing less and fitting into the mix.

The mix displays our unity without compromising our indivuduality. A band without a bass would seem like a car without tyres.

What is the mix?

In music it is about ensuring that the frequencies from each channel (the vocals and instruments) complement each other both in tone and volume. In life, it is about appreciating differences and finding how we should work together.

In the end, people want to buy the cd and listen to our song again and again because every instrument fits into each other.

Working with people? Bring beauty by exploring the mix.

TTT for Consumer Banking Leadership team @ TCS

Last Wednesday I had the amazing opportunity to train six of our Leaders in a Train-the-Trainer workshop.

When this need was discussed three weeks ago, I suggested getting an external vendor or engaging our Leadership Development team to deliver the session. A week ago, I was informed that I will given the opportunity.

Ever since, my mind was racing. I was telling myself - Whoa! What am I going to say? What am I going to do? What questions might they have? How do I make their experience memorable?

Last Tuesday, I was tensed - not because of the topic... It is just that it was a 'senior' audience. And my first such kind of session at TCS. My role permits me to train upto a Band 6 (Senior Managers). But my audience was Band 7,8 & 9. Natural shivers. 

I was just praying for grace, for wisdom and the ability to connect. Interestingly, the passage of my devotion that day was this 'Pls. give us this day our daily bread'. Interestingly, it said that God gives us what we need on a 'daily' basis. Today's bread for today! He doesn't want us to worry for tomorrow but wants us to trust Him with today.


Last Tuesday I slept post 11:30pm, woke up Wednesday morning and grace abounded. Received inspiration on what to speak. Changed my slides... added a few more topics.

Guess what? The session on Wednesday turned amazing! I had a great time with our Leaders. At the end of the workshop they found it valuable and wanted more sessions.

I have found this pattern about life: Our equipping comes with surrender. Total Surrender to God! And believe me - It's a beauty to be led.

Pic source: crosscards.com